Overthinking

A brief insight into “overthinking”.

I have *decided to change the description I write in the narrative of each invoice I raise from “Nth session” to “Nth Session” which kicked off a whole lot of chatter:

With the tingle of what I recognise as my old, “hyperventilating as it tries to alert me to danger” friend Anxiety now fizzing in my stomach,  my commentary begins “now I need to go back over all of the invoices I have ever created and ‘correct’ them to this new format” – a hangover from being constantly fearful of doing something “wrong” as a child in case I was punished (I didn’t like being punished).

followed by

“it is OK, a capital letter is not a significant change, you are not messing up the entire accounting system, all is well, you can leave those invoices as they are” in my best “nurturing parent” voice.

It all takes time though, mental energy and this is why mental “idiosyncrasies” like this can get so out of hand and fill one’s whole mind, one’s whole day, render us incapable of making even the most (apparently) simple decisions and endanger mental health……so when the chatter starts, deep breath, it is probably OK.

 

* = not using a capital felt “wrong” hence the knee-jerk “I must correct it” and this knee-jerk gone along with as “Adult” me thinks it looks more aesthetically pleasing….or  do I think that or is some cultural convention exerting it’s pull on me….and suddenly, there I am, overthinking again!!

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